Soul Dump Sunday- The Lighthouse Effect

At the core of our existence, what is it we really want or need to survive? What is it we need to thrive and grow? I think this depends on the person and their purpose.

I remember my torturous 20’s as what I would describe as “flopping like a fish out of water.”  It took what felt like a century for me to discover my own potential and purpose. The wandering years: welding school, walking around Europe for six months with a backpack after an immersive study in welding technology in Germany with a building full of boys and men. Learning to adapt and dissect language and cultural differences.

Then coming home to the love of my life but insisting I stay as independent as possible, it felt foreign to be provided for, loved, or cared for in the ways he was offering unconditionally.

It wasn’t until I found myself literally begging God, Universe, Spirit, whatever you may call this higher power, out loud in the tub, crying for something to become clear: What am I supposed to do? I feel lost. Guide me, please. I need to understand my purpose here or I can never be happy.

Within a few weeks I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant with my first son. When he was born, a sense of calm and clarity washed over me, a confidence, a trust in myself that I could do this. And maybe from the adrenaline of childbirth, a sense that I could do anything and survive a lot.

I called a friend of mine I’ve known since Kindergarten and asked if she would come take pictures of the baby and us. She came, and through that conversation and photo session we discussed her starting her own business as a photographer. She is still a family photographer to this day.

When I look back, I realize I’ve had many of these conversations with people I’ve crossed paths with. Our cleaning lady, who was working for a middleman paying her very little to work very hard, she spun off and started her own company and still cleans our house 17 years later, along with many of my friends’ homes. A friend searching for her purpose who I encouraged to become a teacher, she now teaches high school art and loves it. A young maker whose website I discovered, and I told her she should teach, she now teaches full-time metalsmithing.

And then there was starting a school within the first year of my son’s birth, where many, many people came through to discover their passion. Recruiting and training teachers became a necessity and a gift, spotting talent and empowering them to step into instructor roles or full-time artist paths.

Honestly, I’m not sure where this comes from, but I believe it’s part of my purpose. Outside of learning to surrender and trust, it’s about channeling clarity for others who may be flopping like a fish out of water. This brings me great joy. It keeps me in a place of clarity, accomplishment, and worthiness.

It’s no wonder I do what I do now, that the universe put me through the challenging years of running a business, facing hardship, and also rewarding me with success. I’ve gained the ability to be a translator, a conduit for others. I’ve been able to incorporate this into how I teach and coach, helping people understand their value and worthiness, to own their title of artist, teacher, or whatever else they’re being guided toward.

At the end of the day, I got my wish for clarity and purpose. And I'm ready to own this path and purpose. Hearing from my students in Transform over the last two six-week courses, and from my one-on-one ongoing clients, claiming this has changed their lives, reminded them of what they’re capable of, and cleared the path toward their great vision, that is everything.

Because there’s nothing more frustrating than forgetting what we are capable of, and how much ability we have to pivot when the time calls for it. Helping them climb out from under the rock, the same rock I so clearly remember being under throughout my own career and life, feels deeply familiar and important.

Sometimes we need a guide to hack the weeds out of the way on the path to the top of the mountain, to remove barriers, both internal and external, and to shine a flashlight on the trail as we navigate new territory. I take this role and responsibility with great seriousness. It is a huge honor to be the lighthouse for others, so they can come in, fill up safely with the supplies they need, and then head back out into the waters with confidence.

I used to think of this as a lonely role, because watching them ship out can feel sad. But I’m reminded all the time how much these efforts matter, clients, past students and employees finding me after years of distance, steering their ship back in my direction, telling me I changed their lives and that they’re now doing the thing they set out to do with great success.

It doesn’t get much better than this. I will continue to sit solidly and turn the light on when asked, or when it’s ready to be received, because this too is how I fill my own ship.

I hope you too can find what lights you up, what keeps you steering in the right direction. And never give up on that. No matter how rocky the waves get, trust yourself, trust the process, continue toward your great vision. It will come, it may not look how you thought, but it will come.

At any stage, as long as you’re breathing, anything is possible.

Onward and Upward !

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https://courtney-gray.mykajabi.com/signup